


Chris's Adventure

by Glitter_Lips



Category: Captain America (Movies), IRL - Fandom, Joshua and the Promised Land, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Transformers - All Media Types, the bee movie
Genre: Crack, If you havent seen joshua and the promised land its on youtube and you gotta, Multi, just silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:49:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18751201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitter_Lips/pseuds/Glitter_Lips
Summary: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh





	Chris's Adventure

Chris loved adventures but he realized he might have bitten off a little more than he could chew this time. He laid in bed, tied to the posts by rope, surrounded by the most beautiful people he had ever met. He trusted and loved all of them but he wasn’t completely sure he would be able to handle this. He took a deep breath. He could do this, he just had to be brave and like he always said, sometimes no means maybe so he ignored the voice in his head saying this would be too much. Normally he was the voice in other people’s head. Trippy.

Camel had been looking forward to this night all week. He was used to being ridden but this was riding in a different way. A different kind of hump. He licked Chris’s head to get him in the mood, conveying the complex feelings he couldn’t express through his saliva. That really was his main coping mechanism. It may not be Wednesday but it was definitely hump day.

Dead Tiger was dead. That made him more flexible. He wrapped his feet behind his head and sat in a chair, simply being a display for everyone in the room. 

The age difference worried Joshua so he said, “nah m8.” “Nah rhymes with yah so come on over.” Chris purred and beckoned him with a finger. Joshua giggled and bounced over to him. “Are you sure I’m not too young Chris-senpai?” Chris shrugged at the lion cub’s question and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. Which was difficult with the bright pink ropes binding him to the bed. It was really more of a face smushing.

Trump was disgusted. Not only were there HOMOSEXUALS but he wasn’t the center of attention and that was not something he could abide by. Running a hand through his twinkie colored locks, he nibbled on Joshua’s ear. “You’ve built a wall between us babe. I feel like Mexico!” He laughed robustly. Not only was he a political genius with very large hands, he was also riveting conversation.

Chris moaned loudly, “Oh, Trump! Talk dirty to me!” Donald chuckled and obliged. “All of the people in this room are gay, and I mean you can ask anybody, these people are gay, no matter who you ask, these people are absolutely gay and, you know, the media will try to twist my words and whatever, those stupid butt monkeys, but what I’m saying is you’re a dirty, nasty, slutty, whorish, little gay.” Trump’s hair squeaked in agreement and Chris moaned again, Joshua joining in on making noises against the pink narrator's lips when Camel grabbed his ass.

Snoop Dogg was on a bit of a delay due to the 🍃🍃 and he heard the talk dirty comment a bit later. “Oh damn Jason Derulo is my shit” he said in his signature stoned voice. “God Snoop. Get with it.” Trump said. “Did someone say GOD?” God appeared in nipple clamps and a bright pink thong. Joshua got on his knees to pray and maybe do somethin else ifyaknowwhatimean.😏😏

Satan immediately yanked Joshua off of God’s giant, throbbing cock. “He’s mine,” he growls, his fiery mane blowing in the breeze. He then impales himself on God’s dick and rides him till the sun comes up. This makes everyone in the room at least 65% hornier. 

Berry flies in through the cracked window and smiles at all the beauty in the room. He goes straight to Chris and strokes his gorgeous face before stinging him in the lip. Chris shouted in pain before groaning in pleasure as the sting made his lips more sensitive and sexy. Berry died and joined Dead Tiger. 

The smell of possible meats for cooking attracted America’s favorite blond bombshell chef, say it with me now, Gordon Ramsay. Who the fuck said Guy Fieri? We’re not THAT kinky. Anyway, Gordo immediately started to feel the dead tiger and bee for tender juicy moist succulent cuts of meat. “Hello Satan! See you on Hell’s Kitchen!” He said while harvesting the nipples of both beasts. Satan was too busy getting the sweet angelic dick to pay attention so tears glimmered in Gord man’s eyes. He sniffled and turned away. “Satan is a baka,” he whispered under his breath before leaving.

Suddenly, Optimus ripped the roof from the building they were all in. “Daddy!”

Chris cheered, trying to reach for the giant Cybertronian with his hands tied. “Hello again, Chris.” Optimus nodded in acknowledgement. He then stuck his large digit down into the room and against Chris’ lips. Chris immediately opened up to allow the digit into his mouth. It stretched his lips considerably and threatened to rip his face but he made it through like a trooper, licking in   
between OP’s knuckles, reaching for the wires between his armor seams with his tongue.  
OP gave a deep guttural moan of pleasure, so loud it drew in a visitor. Joshua’s dad! He opened the door aggressively, causing it to slam in between OP’s legs. He yelped loudly, eyes glowing a brighter blue. Joshua’s dad gasped and steadied himself against the wall. “DIRTY DIRTY FUCKING SINNERS GO PRAISE GOD” His eyes then fell on his son sucking God’s dick and he cringed aggressively. “I mean I guess you are” God sprouted another dick and gestured Joshua’s dad towards him.

“Go nuts,” God winked and motioned to his new limb. Joshua’s dad dropped to his knees and gawked at him. It was beautiful. He nuzzled it with his cheek and began a blow job alongside his son.

Optimus shouted in bliss and opened his spark chamber. From within emerged Captain America. He floated to the ground, whispering something none of them could hear. When his feet reached the floor it became apparent that he was chanting “USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!” Everyone joined in for about an hour before quieting down again. Now everyone’s horniness had increased by at least 69%. Aroused from the thought of sexy freedom, Captain America’s dick (which he affectionately name George Washington or Georgy for short) was rock hard. He grabbed Snoop Dogg and taped tin foil to his arm. “Hope you don’t mind a bit of cosplaying” he said with a wink, snaking his hand down to Snoop Dogg’s Lil Snoop. Snoop blew smoke in his face. “Sure but call me by my code name… Soldier 420” “Ooh damn I’ll Avenge that fine booty.” “Are you Thor cuz I’m gonna hammer that ass!” Snoop replied. “My dick is so hard can call me Iron Man.” He shot back. “Imma put my arrow in your quiver, Hawkeye style.” “I’m gonna Hulk out on that D.” “Take your clothes Natasha Roman-OFF” The puns made them orgasm violently simultaneously. 

Captain Crunch rose up from the floor boards. “I’m here to claim me some booty! Laaaaand hoe!” He approached Chris and slapped his ass. “How you like that my sea wench?” “CRUCHINIZE ME CAPTAIN!” He said through a sob of ecstasy. “As you wish lassy.” He mounted the pink animal and entered his hungry hole. 

Chris’s hands gripped at the ropes, desperate to reach out and get his sea captain WET. One of the ropes broke and they called the only bondage expert they knew. Corporal Levi Ackerman. He showed up with a bottle of windex and a duffel bag full of various sex toys. “You called Levi’s bondage repair? You think it, we kink it.” He sighed apathetically and squirted his trademark Windex in Chris’s ass to keep things sanitary. “Best protection in the business.”  
😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🗣🗣🗣🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🗣

Sebastian appeared in a whirlwind of flowers and silverware. “Has anyone seen my lord?” Upon seeing Chris he smirks excitedly. He bows dramatically, “oh Chris-sama. How may I serve you?” “Fuck me hard!” Sebastian laughed his deep demon chuckle. “Very well,” he was there in a flash, throwing Captain Crunch to the side and starting to sex him up at the speed of light. Chris screamed in ecstasy and orgasmed intensely. Sebastian disappeared in a cloud of glitter, somewhat like how he had entered.

In the midst of all the sexual frenzy, Donald Jehova Trump heard his great counties national anthem playing faintly, coming from the air vents. He dramatically and quickly turned his head up to look up at the seductive song source. There he saw an NSA video camera, focused on him. He knew Obama was watching him, he was so OBSESSED with him lately . “ I know you're watching Obama,” Donald purred to the video. camera, “ come join us~~ OMABA.”. The NSA camera suddenly shut off. Joe BIden burst into the room, tears streaming down his porcelain face, “ I knew he was cheating!!!!!!111~~~ :’(“ 

Dondad pursed his lips like a pouty neko gurl. “Rawrrrr” He said, orange skin turning a kawaii shade of pink. “I’m sorry Joey ur boyfriend is just so poooowerful and I wanted to invest my SPERM in his BIG BANK.” Joe pulled a knife from his bra, eyes turning dark and stormy. “We must do battle.” He said darkly. Then they went outside because lol we dont want to describe that disgusting sin godAmn #triggered. LEts get back to the good stuff, CoLd hArD FUkiN.  
“Yooooooo look who’s here!” Snoop Dogg turned his attention from Cap to bow to the Marijuana Witch with her beautiful marijuana wings. She sung the DaNK wE3dz theme song in her angelic voice before blessing everyone with her 420 dust magic. They all turned super high instantly, making everyone of them organism violently. “MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMM,” was the chorus through the room. 

The smell of weed wafted out of the open window and they heard a window break in the house next door. Thumping footsteps filled the hallway and they all froze in anticipation as the figure approached. After second of dead quiet the door crashed down to reveal the sexiest high grade glass any of them had ever seen, her glassy roundness conveying both fierce confidence and bashful femininity at the same time. Everyone in the room expunged man milk at the same time. “I SMELLED MADDIES DANK KUSH’ she said in a scream without moving. She catapulted onto the bed and immediately wrapped her rim around Dead Tiger’s dick. 

Everyone in the room looked at the camera. On the other side, watching the whole thing was a person on their laptop. “Mmmmm why don’t you join us?”


End file.
